Perfunction

FINALLY! (Tay Zonday Edition)

He has ascended the throne, making a Dr. Pepper commercial:

Dashing Through The Snow, On A One Horse Open {thud, squish}

Roadkill toys for Christmas:

The toy's innards and blood can be stuffed in and out of his body. A zip on each side contains the blood and guts. Its eyes are goggling, tongue is lolling around and a tyre print runs across its back.

Blog Plagiarism

"There is much difference between imitating a man and counterfeiting him." --- Cuffy Meigs*

In this world of screencaps and Google caches, it is amazing that plagiarism even happens in the blogosphere. But, alas, some knuckleheads shameslessly steal from other bloggers:

It was a fairly popular post, I had fun writing it, I got a nice traffic bump, and people seemed to like it, heh, of course, someone liked it enough to swipe it.

The thief of DoublePlusUndead's content --- and we're talking verbatim text and graphics --- is Michael Barrett, Vice Chairman of the Minnesota GOP and former House candidate. And he's no Internet pollyanna; he regularly quotes/cites/hattips larger blogs like RedState. Like I said, shameless.

Well, let the shaming begin. I'm going out on a limb here, but I think this is Barrett's original content, swiped for his edification.

UPDATE: The culprit apologizes and disappears into the ether. It's like Batman or something:

It seems a bit of a firestorm has developed over some of my postings. I always intended this as a vehicle to pass along posts I found interesting to people in my District. I never expected a wider audience.

That being said, I have gone to posts, linked to articles from those posts, and cut and pasted some of these articles to my blog. My fault here is not properly acknowledging the original post as I should have.

Some of my blogger friends made me aware of this controversy today, for which I sincerely apologize. So I have asked them to remove links to my blog and I will let this be my final post.

For those offended, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Mike

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*If by Cuffy Meigs, you mean Benjamin Franklin.

Exclamation Point!

Noticing the trend of my recent post titles, I think this superfluous space filler is entirely appropriate. I'm so excited!

War Eagle!

Iron Bowl Day. Game at 7pm. Making a big pot o' chili this afternoon.

Tear Down This Wall!

In the early 13th century Genghis Khan and his Mongol horde swept out of central Asia onto the steppes of eastern Europe driving the Kievan Rus from modern day Ukraine into the northern forests of eastern Europe. Although the Khan lacked numbers, they succeeded in subduing vast populations through sheer brutality.

Later, approaching the end of the 14th century, another Mongol leader emerged who was probably more terroristic than the first. His name was Timur the Lame; known to us in the West by the latinized name of Tamerlane. What both had in common was their penchant for control and the use of surrogates to carry out their terror. Tamerlane was buried in an ornate sarcophagus in Samarkan in modern day Uzbekistan. His last words were that if anyone should violate his resting place that the hand of Tamerlane would descend upon them across time.

Upon the death of Tamerlane, the Kievan Rus living in an area referred to as Moscovy and a city named Mockba (Moscow) began to fight off the scattered Mongol chieftains that remained. In the mid 15th century a ruler ascended by the name of Ivan Vasilyevich (Ivan the Terrible) who was able to finally conquer the Mongol Kazaks (Cossacks). Upon doing so, like Julius Caesar before him, he crowned himself the first Czar. Like Genghis and Timur before him, Ivan grew increasingly paranoid and created the Strelsi, a secret police that roamed the countryside terrorizing anyone who spoke dissent. For centuries the Russian rulers had lived in fortified structures they called Kremlins where they could control thought and access.

Later came Josef Dzhugashvili (Stalin) who like Ivan lived in the same Kremlin, controlled dissent and dispatched his own form of Ivan's Strelsi (NKVD,KGB) to terrorize dissenters from inside the walls. Interestingly, on June 21, 1941 Stalin ordered the sarcophagus of Tamerlane to be opened. On June 22, 1941 the hand of Tamerlane reached from the grave as Hitler's German Army invaded Russia. Combine this military might with Stalin's growing paranoia and the end result was 27 million of his own people perishing.

So now that you have this history lesson, where am I going with this? If you are not a student of history...you are doomed to repeat it. Just like I repeat and baldly steal material from other blogs.

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I am a douchenozzle. Really.

In today's Minnesota, we apparently have someone stepping forward to crown themself as the new Czar of conservative thought. Like Caesar, he has chosen to place the laurel wreath upon his own head. And like the Russian Czars he lives in his own walled Kremlin of his mind and has even gathered his own Strelsi to dispatch and put down any dissent. He has seemingly determined that he alone will decide who are good conservatives and who are not.

What's the result? Thought control.

I believe, and always will believe, that what sets us apart from the liberals is that we can choose to disagree about ideas and still remain respectful and still remain good Republicans. The liberals believe you may only express thoughts that agree with theirs. If you don't they will attack you, belittle you and seek to drive you out. Little does our new Czar of conservatism realize it, but he is seeking to do to us the same thing the liberals are. I don't believe we need these Stalinist tactics from someone suddenly claiming to be the sole repository of correct conservative thought. Sorry, but I'll accept this approach only when 'pigs fly'.

So like Ronald Reagan before me, I will stand with my back to his Wall and remind him with the same words. "Yes, this Wall will fall. For it cannot withstand faith; it cannot withstand truth. The Wall cannot withstand freedom (of conservative thought).

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I would like to profusely thank these blogs for the thoroughly original ideas behind this, my awesomely sui generis post: Doubleplusundead, Ace of Spades HQ, Slublog, and Magical Pat at Ankle Biting Pundits. Without your inspiration, I don't know where I'd be. THANK YOU.

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UPDATE (11-28-07): Uh oh. My days as a blog plagiarist are numbered, as the plagiarist I plagiarized has apologized and disappeared from the Interweb. (fyi, 99% of the above post was swiped from plagiarist Michael Barrett, including the ghey little flying pig).

Happy Turkey Day!

Enjoy your Thanksgiving. Light blogging from yours truly as I'll be over the river and through the woods all week.

Indeed, by the time it's all over, rivers and woods will figure prominently in the police report on the mysterious disappearance of my annoying relatives...

AirSlut Kyla Ebbert Gives Geriatric Publisher A Boner

(Note: Not a pic from Playboy --- cropped from here)

Apparently, Hef just can't get enough blonde silicone. FemBot Kyla Ebbert appears in Playboy:

She’s not saying what they paid her except that it’s “less than six figures,” which is what happens when you try to cash in on your 15 minutes at 14:59. The name of this very tasteful, very beautiful and classy photo spread? “Legs in the Air.”

In the name of due diligence, I just checked Playboy's website (NSFW, took forever to load). How did Kyla feel about her pictorial?

Kyla says her whole experience posing for Playboy was a dream come true. "I've wanted to do it since I turned 18," she says.

I found some new visual data to confirm her FAA-designated AirSlutworthiness:

• Blonde (old data, check)
• Fake Boobs (old data, check)
• Navel Piercing (NEW, check)
• Bikini Line Tatoo (NEW, check)

No rear shots, so the Tramp Stamp tatoo with the Chinese character for "Lavatory Occupied" is unconfirmed at this time.

But, really, is all that enough to deem her AirSlut? Here's the clincher:

Given her troubles in the skies, we felt obliged to ask one final probing question. "Yes, I am a member of the mile high club," Kyla says.

For a trip down Mammary Lane, here's the original "Southwest-kicks-her/flashes-her-panties-on-Today-Show" story and here's the "jugs-can-be-used-as-flotation-devices" picture with Richard Branson.

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IMPORTANT ACTION ALERT UPDATE: Awright awright, you pervs. Get ready. (warning warning warning) NSFW pics are here. Act fast, as Playboy is notoriously quick in shutting down sites like that. And someone please inform me if, say 3 months from now, that link points to Goatse, TubGirl or HillaryClinton.com.

UPDATE: Howdy, Jawas! Enjoy your stay.

O Family Tree, O Family Tree

Lowe's tries selling unnamed religious holiday "Family Trees" in a recent catalog:

Nice to see how quickly Lowe's scrambled to apologize. Having a few million red state, self-reliant do-it-yourselfers (aka customers) pissed off isn't good for business.

Now, if only they hadn't labeled that other thing a "Family Barn Playset --- Now With Baby!"...

UPDATE: Hello, HotAIr (thanks, Allahpundit).

Rick Sanchez Is A Bitch

Move along...

"I Will Not Give Documents To Undocumented Workers"

Demonstrating Presidential Leadership, Hillary! gives a final (?) answer after painting herself into a strangely triangulated corner:

"I support Governor Spitzer's decision today to withdraw his proposal," Clinton said in a statement. "As president, I will not support driver's licenses for undocumented people and will press for comprehensive immigration reform that deals with all of the issues around illegal immigration including border security and fixing our broken system."

Viva La Cankles!

Light Blogging This Week

Busy, busy. See you around on a comment thread somewhere (maybe).

TV Pundits on Fred: He Blew It, It's Over

So sayeth Republican Ed Rollins and Democrat Bob Shrum on this morning's Today show (video here, sorry, you'll have to pick it out of the line-up, it's labeled "Rollins, Shrum").

My opinion of Rollins opinion? Meh.

But Shrum? C'mon ... LOSER, he's 0 for 8 with Every. Single. Presidential. Campaign. He's. Touched.

Oh, and my favorite part of the Today video was how they lead off talking about Hillary! and her "20 point lead!" For any casual soccer mom cooking breakfast, listening with half an ear, it sounded exactly like Hillary! was 20 points ahead of everyone, Dem or GOP. Nice framing, NBC.

Another Missile Shield First: Double Hit In Space

Last night in space over the Pacific, interceptor missiles from the Aegis cruiser USS Lake Erie met yet another successful milestone, destroying a salvo of multiple incoming ballistic missiles:

The event marked the 10th and 11th successful ballistic missile intercepts for Lockheed Martin Corp's sea-based Aegis system in 13 attempts, the Pentagon's Missile Defense Agency, or MDA, said.

"We consider it a simultaneous engagement," said Richard Lehner, an agency spokesman, on Wednesday. "That means both targets were in flight at the same time even though they were not intercepted at precisely the same moment."

Here is very raw footage (skip the first few seconds if you can) of the test from the Missile Defense Agency:

UPDATE: Hi, Acers. Here's yet another successful intercept from just over a month ago. Ballistic missile defense clearly does not work kicks ass.

UPDATE: Welcome, fellow Instapundit readers (thanks, Glenn).

Quiz Time!

Spot the Missing Word in this AP report on McCain picking up Brownback's endorsement:

It's uncertain how much weight Brownback's backing will carry. While he is a favorite of religious conservatives, he failed to persuade them to embrace him as the GOP's consensus conservative candidate. He spent months emphasizing his opposition to abortion, gay marriage and other issues important to the party's right, but left the race ranking low in polls.

The Grunt & The Foreign Service Officer

Cash & Gehry

Celebrated architect Frank Gehry's avante garde building at MIT is a POS:

The school asserts that the center, completed in spring 2004, has persistent leaks, drainage problems and mold growing on its brick exterior. It says accumulations of snow and ice have fallen dangerously from window boxes and other areas of its roofs, blocking emergency exits and causing damage. The suit says MIT paid Los Angeles-based Gehry Partners $15 million to design the Stata Center, which cost $300 million to build.

Success

Pulling off a spectacularly dangerous spacewalk, Astronaut Parazynski deserves a stellar congratulations:

In the tense buildup to the spacewalk - one of the most difficult and dangerous ever attempted - NASA repeatedly warned that station construction would have to be halted if the wing could not be fixed.

The prospect was so grave that NASA felt it had no choice but to put Parazynski practically right up against the swaying power grid, which was coursing with more than 100 volts of electricity. No other astronaut had ever been so far away from the safe confines of the cabin.

His emergency surgery saved the solar energy panel - and the space station.

Outstanding.

Here's a 10 minute clip of the spacewalk highlights:

And for the hell of it, here's the final scene from The Right Stuff:

A Dangerous Walk In Space

In these cynical times, it's depressing to realize how nonchalant---and even ignorant---people have become about space exploration.

No, this isn't bait for some political debate about NASA, government monopolies or waste.

Put all that aside and just think about the astronauts 200 miles over our heads as I type this, about to embark on an extremely risky EVA to repair a damaged solar array bristling with electricity:

Parazynski and his spacewalking partner, Army Col. Douglas Wheelock, will wear partial mittens over their gloves for extra protection. Wheelock pierced the outer layer of a glove near the end of Tuesday's spacewalk; it was the third time in less than a year that a spacewalker tore a glove on something sharp at the space station.

As for the electrical hazards, all of the metal parts on Parazynski's spacesuit have been covered with insulating tape—triple-taped, in fact—as have all the tools that he'll carry with him.

The solar panel will be teeming with more than 100 volts of electricity, possibly as much as 160 volts.

Don't know about you, but I got a queasy feeling reading about this planned spacewalk.

There have been nearly 300 spacewalks since cosmonaut Alexi Leonov first popped the hatch. And although he barely got back into the Soyuz (he had to bleed pressure from his suit to fit back in the airlock), there have been no major spacewalking mishaps. Says astronaut Parazynski:

"You're in your own personal spacecraft and you are relying upon the spacesuit hardware and on your own physical abilities," he said.

Good luck, Parazynski and Wheelock.

UPDATE: Here's a neat animation of tomorrow morning's spacewalk, slated to begin around 6:30 AM ET. And here is streaming NASA TV.

UPDATE: I'm like a kid in the candy store tonight. Here's video of Discovery's Rendevous Pitch Maneuver (RPM) --- a back flip they do so the station crew can check the shuttle's heatshield:

Ramadi, Capital of Al-Anbar

RAMADI, Iraq (AP) - Whole neighborhoods are lawless, too dangerous for police. Some roads are so bomb-laden that U.S. troops won’t use them. Guerrillas attack U.S. troops nearly every time they venture out — and hit their bases with gunfire, rockets or mortars when they don’t.

Though not powerful enough to overrun U.S. positions, insurgents here in the heart of the Sunni Muslim triangle have fought undermanned U.S. and Iraqi forces to a virtual stalemate.

"It’s out of control,” says Army Sgt. 1st Class Britt Ruble, behind the sandbags of an observation post in the capital of Anbar province. “We don’t have control of this ... we just don’t have enough boots on the ground.”

Today Ramadi, a city of 400,000 along the main highway running to Jordan and Syria, 70 miles west of Baghdad, has battles fought in endless circles. Small teams of insurgents open fire and coalition troops respond with heavy blows, often airstrikes or rocket fire that’s turned city blocks into rubble.

“We’re holding it down to a manageable level until Iraqis forces can take over the fight,” Marine Capt. Carlos Barela said of the daily violence battering the city.

How long before that happens is anybody’s guess.

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That was May 22, 2006, so I suppose anyone who guessed 17 months wins that AP writer's prize. Recently the Iraqi's held a V-A Day (Victory in Anbar?) Parade:

UPDATE: Hello, HotAir & AOSHQ. While we're feeling nostalgic for the Dem's good ol' days of defeat, despair and civil war, check out Michael Fumento's excellent Ramadi embed from the same time last year for an even sharper perspective of how far we've come in Anbar.

Enola Gay Commander Paul Tibbets, RIP

Passed away today at 92. Here's an old video of him talking about Hiroshima: