Perfunction

50 Years Ago Today

America took it's first small step on our path to mastering space:

Then the definitive signal came. It came later than expected, but nevertheless it came, at 9:45 p.m. PT on Jan. 31, 1958. Explorer 1 was circling Earth for the first time - and proving that America could match the Soviets on the Cold War's orbital frontier.

That night, Dr. Werner Von Braun (above far right) became the undisputed hero and favorite adopted son of my hometown. But the lesser known story is that we could have beat Sputnik:

In fact, the traditional wisdom is that von Braun's Army-led effort could have put a satellite in space in 1956, but higher-ups worried that an Army launch might send too warlike a signal to Moscow. Instead, President Eisenhower favored the Navy's Project Vanguard, which had more civilian participation.

Von Braun's Army team bristled:

It happened that at the time of the first Sputnik, an Army missile team in Huntsville, Ala., had a rocket in storage that its leaders said could have beaten the Russians into orbit, had the government not forbidden its use in deploying a satellite. When the news of Sputnik 1 broke, Dr. von Braun, the German-born engineering leader of the team, pleaded with a Pentagon official, “For God’s sake, turn us loose and let us do something!”

Unfortunately, it was Sputnik's surprise launch that finally lit a fire under Ike:

Then came Sputnik's history-making launch in October 1957, followed less than a month later by Sputnik 2 and the first dog in orbit. Eisenhower pressed his rocketeers to come up with an answering volley within 90 days.

The Vanguard rocket failed spectacularly in December, earning the nickname "Flopnik."

And a cheer went up in Huntsville---Von Braun's Army team would now get their shot:

Suddenly, the screen was filled with the bright flash of a violent explosion and what was left of Vanguard fell back to the launch pad.

Surprisingly, instead of sighs of despair, a spontaneous cheer of elation arose in the room. Everyone there realized that the Navy's failure meant that the local missile team would now get its chance to redeem the honor of the United States.

And they did:

Tonight here in Huntsville, a 50th anniversary gala will be held at the new Davidson Center for Space Exploration, the brand new museum addition that houses one of the 3 remaining original Saturn V moon rockets. Happy anniversary, guys.

HA Ha!

Joke's on you, suckers. The voice of Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum and Nelson Muntz outspends Tom Cruise on Scientology:

Actress Nancy Cartwright, the voice behind cartoon character Bart Simpson, has been awarded Scientology's Patron Laureate Award after donating $10 million to the faith in 2007.

Cartwright's gift - almost two times her annual salary from The Simpsons - puts her top of a list of celebrity benefactors, who have handed over their hard-earned cash to the Church of Scientology. She gave even more than Tom Cruise - who is reported to be the controversial religion's second-in-command - who has donated $5 million in the last four years.

UPDATE: Thanks, Ace. Greetings, HotAir.

Ramesh Ponnuru Nails It

This is exactly what I've been thinking:

It has seemed a bit like the 1996 race. McCain is Dole: the old war hero who has run before, who does not enthuse either economic or social conservatives but has a pretty conservative record. Giuliani is Forbes: the socially liberal, economically conservative New York candidate. Huckabee is Buchanan: the social conservative with rhetoric that scares economic conservatives. Romney is Gramm, the movement-oriented candidate with boatloads of money but difficulty connecting with grassroots conservative voters. (I'm not sure where Thompson fits in this scheme.) Romney has gotten further than Gramm, but much of the story is the same.

The social-Right candidate takes out the movement candidate, the economic conservative ends up not playing a huge role, and the nomination goes to the old guy whom much of the Right distrusts.

The only difference between 2008 and 1996 is us being hip-deep in a shooting war versus watching our 401ks fatten by the hour.

They Told Us So

For years now, a plethora of mysterious, giant puppets and their smelly minions have warned us that this day of reckoning would come:

Welcome to Bushitler's Amerikka the coolest looking new game for XBox360:

Ever wondered what would have happened if Winston Churchill had died before the beginning of World War Two? In 1931 he was hit by a New York cab, an accident that could have had major consequences in years to come. Fortunately, he managed to survive the incident, but had to walk with a cane for the rest of his life. Famously, Churchill went on to inspire the British into despatching the Nazi party in what is regarded the most significant event in history by many. So what would have happened if Adolf Hitler’s Third Reich had risen into global power? In Turning Point: Fall of Liberty, Spark Unlimited ask all the “what if?” questions possible, as Nazi Germany conquers Europe and sets its sights America.

OK, with Bioshock, Call of Duty 4, and now this, I think my own date with destiny is coming. Off to check XBox360 prices...

Weirdest Press Release of the Day

I found this in the Politics tab at Breitbart:

Seagram's Gin Celebrates African American Male Achievement With The Pursuit of Excellence

In celebration of African American male achievement and to address rising joblessness and unemployment among African American men...

Gin has nothing to do with unemployment. Nothing!

Winning Bumperstickers

Some graphic designers rate the bumperstickers of the candidates:

Whether it is Best Buy's big, bold, screaming signs or the sweet, elegant script on a wine label, the type talks to us, the reader. The logos of the presidential candidates are no exception.

Huckabee's handily gets their worst review:

Huckabee has the most inexplicable selection of typography and graphics, from the six floating stars to the white stripe seemingly stolen from the Coca-Cola logo. The overall effect is clutter. The main typeface, used to set the candidate's name, is very tightly spaced, or tightly tracked, as typographers like to say. Some letters, like kab, are actually touching each other. Then "Mike" is tucked in between the H and k as if "we almost forgot to tell you his first name." Setting FAITH. FAMILY. FREEDOM. in such a thin weak sans serif feels as if it was added as a committee compromise or an afterthought. The type is too light, too small, and does not have a real voice.

The one thing about Huckabee's logo that repells me is the yellow/orange. It always reminds me of another ubiquitous brand of the rural South --- those freaking dusty chickenfeed trucks lumbering down some tar-gravel pigtrail of a road. Coincidence?

And based on the merits of their font designs, one of these guys will be your next President:

SSC Ultimate Aero: Fastest Production Car In The World

1,183 horsepower, 256.18 miles per hour top speed (new Guiness Record), $600,000, and made in America --- VROOOOOM!

And the car could go even faster. NASA's wind tunnel testing facility in Langley, Va., found the Ultimate Aero to be aerodynamically stable at speeds up to 273 mph. It just ran out of road. "If there was additional straight pavement on which to accelerate, the top speed would have been considerably higher, so if anyone challenges our record there is tons left on the table," says Chuck Bigelow, the brave soul who piloted the Ultimate Aero on its record-breaking run.

But wait, there's more.

The car also holds the best-recorded speed for navigating the slalom (73.1 mph), and bests all others in the ever-important weight-to-horsepower ratio (2.33). "A lot of people think that powerful, American supercars are only good at going straight, but our car will out-handle just about anything that you put next to it," Shelby says. "When Road & Track tested a pre-production version of our car, it broke the Ferrari Enzo's slalom course record. It will just take time to get the word out on how capable we are."

Here's video of the Guiness run:

UPDATE: Ola, HotAir. Car pr0n, milpr0n ... it's all good. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks, Ace.

Hollywood To You: Hey Stupid, Guess What "Towelhead" Is About?

Our masters of imagination once again are reluctantly forced edumacate the hicks, using titles that even a cross-eyed banjo-playing porch-sittin' moron conservative gets. Yes, it's that time again: Sundance.

“Downloading Nancy,” although surely titillating, is completely unwatchable. I’m not sure if it’s worse than “Towelhead” — that’s the film in which 35-year-old Aaron Eckhart has sex twice with a 13-year-old [Middle Eastern] girl played by a young-looking 18-year-old actress. But it’s close.

Oooo bonus: guess the profession of Eckhart's character, the protagonist's neighbor, Mr. Vuoso --- Surprise!

Lonely in this new environment, Jasira seeks friendship and acceptance from her neighbors Mr. Vuoso, an Army reservist, and Melina, a meddling but caring expectant mother.

Lessee, Towelhead illustrates suburban dystopia, has an evil military neighbor, statutory rape and is helmed by Alan Ball. What a hack.

More Missile Pr0n

Happens to every guy eventually:

Vive la France!

Bob Romano's Gerbil Farm

So I'm reading some Gmail and my eye is finally drawn to one of those ads they insert:

What. The. Fuck.

Sucker that I am, I click.

No Bob, no mice. Just some guy hawking some get rich quick seminar that is being held at some airport hotel in Maryland this week.

Has anyone else seen this ad in Gmail? I just Googled "Bob Romano's Gerbil Farm" and the mystery deepens. Should I be hollering the "safe word" right now?

Hold me.

Next Dem Talking Point: BANK RUNS

With their never-ending dream of returning America to the Golden Days of soup lines, hobos, Dust Bowls, leather-faced Okies, collectivized dam projects, and proto-fascist Worker Art, the Democrats sing a Woody Guthrie song of deliverance --- we finally have ourselves some BANK RUNS!

Steve Smith, who runs BCX bank, yesterday said depositors -- who are owed a total of $20,000 -- will be able to get their money back next week. The bank, which had promised to pay depositors more than 200% in annual interest, is now allowing only small withdrawals.

"This won't affect us long term. It's just a short-term difficulty," said Mr. Smith, 40 years old, who also has significant land and real-estate interests.

YES! It was only a matter of time before the Republican's tax cut for the rich caught up with us. Shady lending, unscrupulous mortgage brokers, new draconian bankruptcy laws, foreclosures, exclusive healthcare for monocled and bespatsed plutocrats, and a treasury-draining war without end; it all adds up.

Wait... What?!

All Hail Fred!

I mean, "Aww hell, Fred..."

Let the nauseating political calculus begin.

GMLRS: The 70 Kilometer Sniper Rifle

Kicking the jihadis while they're down (via Defense News, sub. required):

Success in Iraq and Afghan combat helped prompt the U.S. Army to place a $5.17 billion order for 43,560 more Guided Multiple Launch Rocket Systems (GMLRS), the 250-pound, land-based precision rockets able to pinpoint targets up to 70 kilometers away, service officials said.

.

Called the “70-kilometer sniper rifle” by soldiers in combat, the GMLRS is receiving positive feedback from the field, Kinne said.

.

“Guided MLRS has revolutionized the role of field artillery into the urban fight,” he said. “We can now take a rocket, shoot it up to 70 kilometers and put it precisely on a target while reducing collateral damage. We are able to employ this munition in relatively close proximity to where we are operating.”

Sniping a sniper with a freakin' rocket from 45 miles away? Awesome.

.

Their Abrams tank and Bradley unable to take out a rooftop sniper, some troops call in a GMLRS rocket strike. I don't think they'd ever seen one of these come down (language alert):

UPDATE (1-22-08): Golly, a feller takes a long weekend to celebrate MLK Day with Herr Doktor and gets a Lauralanche --- thanks, hon! And then a Weekly Standalanche (thanks, Michael)! If you're still in the mood for some milpron, here's our latest missile defense test. Or maybe some French missile prowess.

Outstanding PR For Golfweek Magazine

Unfortunately, it's that negative kind:

"We apologize for creating this graphic cover that received extreme negative reaction from consumers, subscribers and advertisers across the country," said William P. Kupper Jr., president of Turnstile Publishing Co. "We were trying to convey the controversial issue with a strong and provocative graphic image. It is now obvious that the overall reaction to our cover deeply offended many people. For that, we are deeply apologetic."

Don't know about the rest of you guys, but I think my annual quota of racist outrages has been met in these first weeks of January.

GUERRA DE LA RAZA! Es En! Mierda va a la baja!

The Democrats just cannot help themselves. The original RACE WAR! now has some brand new participants:

"Sen. Obama is defending our right to vote. Sen. Obama wants our votes. He respects our votes, our community, and our people. Sen. Obama’s campaign slogan is 'Si Se Puede.' Vote for a president who respects us, and who respects our right to vote," the ad says [in Spanish], according to a transcript provided by the Clinton campaign and confirmed in part by a union official.

"It’s pathetic and it's sad and it's unfortunate that they have to stoop so low," said Dolores Huerta, a longtime Hispanic labor leader who supports Clinton. She said she had never met Obama in her years of working on Hispanic causes, and suggested the ad was prompted by his lack of Hispanic support.

"I have yet to find even one worker — a Latino worker — who is supporting Barack Obama," she said.

It looks like the lost ark of Democrat identity politics will be found deep in the hills and hollers of Appalachia:

From the mid-19th century to the mid-20th century, occasional newspaper and magazine articles affirmed that the Melungeons were real and that they lived in isolation because of their mysterious ethnic heritage – presumed by non-Melungeons to be a mixture of white, black, and Indian. In the past decade, books, magazines, and (especially) the Internet have fed an increasing interest in Melungeons. Genealogists have traced many of the families, DNA studies have offered some tantalizing hints, but the story of the Melungeons remains – to use the term most often employed by journalists over the years – “mysterious.”

And with that last point, noted Ron Paul supporter David Duke has an aneurism.

Biggest Rat In The World Discovered

{insert lame politican/lawyer joke here}

The new species, Josephoartigasia monesi, is basically a ton-truck version of today's capybara:

"But a mystery is the extremely broad incisors," he added. "We are working on a biomechanical model to estimate the bite force of this giant."

The rodent's fearsome front teeth and large size may have been used to fight over females for breeding rights, assuming it was a male, he said.

"This undoubtedly is the largest rodent that we know of. It's quite remarkable. But I'm not envious—I think it's great."

"I suspected there would be larger rodents out there," he said. "There are probably others that are bigger still."

Dude, I know that paleontology can be as boring as digging a ditch sifting sand dusting rocks whatever nevermind, but you don't have scare the everloving crap outta me.

Where In The World Is David Duke?

A curious reader emailed me asking about commenter David Duke, specifically if he could corroborate Duke's visit here with some trolling comments at the reader's own blog.

So I dug into the site stats and found Duke's IP address. Whodathunkit?

Fun David Duke Fact

Or an alternate title "Can You Trust Wikipedia?":

Using the pseudonym Dorothy Vanderbilt, Duke published a self-help book for women, titled Finders-Keepers, in 1976. The publication gives advice to women regarding vaginal exercises, fellatio, analingus, and anal sex. The manual is no longer in print and hard to find; however, the Times-Picayune, a New Orleans newspaper, managed to find a copy and trace the trail of its proceeds to the original author via the publisher. Duke compiled information from various women's self-help magazines, and published the book to raise money for his activities, though the book turned out to be a flop.

David Duke Responds To Perfunction?

Have I reached the blogging big leagues? Or am I the victim of the most boring white supremacist sock puppet in the world? David Duke comments here regarding his crisis management advice for Ron Paul:

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I am David Duke, and before anyone criticizes my article, they need to read it, all of it at www.davidduke.com not the few excerpts posted here.

By they way I don't blame all of the world's ills on Jews or any other specific group, but yes, I believe that we went to war in Iraq because of extremist Jewish Neocons such as Perle and Wolfowtiz and the enormous power of Jewish extremists in lobbies, political fundraising and media.

From the beginning it was a war based on lies for Israel and not for the United States, and as I predicted, as anyone can check out, it has been a catastrophe for America (and the Iraqi people) on every level. The only ones who have really benefited is Israel (which is quite happy for the war) and Al Qaida.

Trillions of dollars wasted, tens of thousands of American lives lost or ruined, more hatred against America.

All because the Jewish extremists who dominate the American media could lie about "weapons of mass destruction" without hardly any fear of contradiction.

I don't agree obviously with Ron Paul on many things, but I do respect him for standing tall against the war, and standing for American civil liberties against government tyranny and control.

Now, before you go clicking willy-nilly over to read how Obersturmbahnfuhrer Duke's advice to Herr Doktor Ron Paul has somehow been misrepresented, doubleplusundead reminds you to be careful:

RACE WAR! It's On! Sh*t Is Going Down!

Sorry, this is not another Ron Paul post. But Drudge has this subtle headline up, pointing to a Politico story:

IT'S ON!

Wonder Boy

Jim Geraghty says Fred Thompson was Roy Hobbs at the South Carolina GOP debate tonight:

Winner: Thompson. This performance was so commanding, I wanted his last answer to echo back to the lights in the back of the auditorium, blow out all the lamps and spotlights, for the theme to “the Natural” to play, and for him to trot around the stage in slow motion while sparks showered down in the background.

And as you must surely know, Mitt Romney actually invented baseball. The stuffed corpse of Abner Doubleday is a mummified hatrack in his office.

A Fun Day

If you arrived via the Ron Paul crisis management post today, thank you again. It has been a real treat. Nearly as nice as being on the first page of the Google blog search for "Ron Paul" ALL DAY with this preview:

I think I roped in about a hundred despondent fans of Herr Doktor with that today.

Thankyoucomeagain!

Crisis Management Advice For Ron Paul

Before I begin my suggestions for the Ron Paul Campaign, let me first say I like Ron Paul’s campaign, and I think it is good for America and the political process. Why do I think so? It is because people such as Ron Paul shake up the system, and Paul takes a lot of correct positions such as opposition to the Iraq War, opposition to foreign aid to Israel and the rest of the world, as well as having unrelenting support for the civil liberties of the American people.

Yes, the author is very familiar with Paul's positions. He elaborates further:

How can anyone run for President of the United States and not mention the overwhelming power of the Israeli-First, Jewish extremists in American politics and media. Everyone in Washington, D.C. and in practically the entire world knows that the political fundraising process, Presidential policy and Congressional process is firmly under the control of the Zionists who are using the United States as its worldwide hitman, a role that is doing us irreparable harm. Jewish extremists are the political fundraisers and power brokers and they also dominate the mass media, the single greatest influence in politics.

Uhhhh. Well how about economic policies?

The truth is that I agree with Paul that hard money leads to a more stable monetary system and is more preferable. But, many nations such as Switzerland do not have such a policy and yet have done extremely well for generations. Germany in the nineteen-thirties based their currency on labor rather than gold, and with sound economic policy still escaped the depression in only 3 years while the rest of the world languished. America without hard money had the fastest economic growth in world history in the years following World War II, and that occurred despite massive stealing and fraud by both the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Government.

A Paul supporter citing 1930s German currency based on "labor"? You know, "Arbeit." But that's a minor quibble. He continues:

I recognize that he does not share my view of the most important issue of all, the preservation the heritage and rights of the European American people. But, I also realize that the better he does, the better it is for our people and all people that love freedom. And, I know that the better he does in the upcoming primaries the more it shakes up and opens up American politics. [my emphasis]

Down to brass tacks: What should Ron Paul do to win? Read carefully:

What must Paul do to have any real chance of winning or making a bigger impact? I think he should do exactly what I did in Louisiana, and for Ron Paul to follow exactly the same advice Ron Paul gave in his newsletters for others, take up my campaign issues with passion and purpose. [my emphasis again]

Who is this Louisianan Paul Supporter?

Richardson Out

Bill Richardson drops out of the race.

I'M CAROL!

Classic Ace: Liberates New Asshole In Reason Magazine

The rEVOLution is over:

The idea that Ron Paul published this screedy, LaRouchian crap for twenty years and never once inquired into precisely what contents may lie therein is so transparently absurd I'm literally angry to read the supposed smarty-pants Poindexters at Reason attempting to spin this as plausible.

This was Ron Paul's periodic manifesto to his like-minded political brethren.

This was a newsletter that cost money to produce and disseminate, particularly if we are to believe that Lew Rockwell spent so much of his free time writing anti-semitic and racist zingers under the pen name "Ron Paul."

This most likely was the source of some amount of income for Ron Paul, as he claims he had some 100,000 subscribers at one point.

This was Ron Paul's attempt to keep in the mind of possible future voters, and donors (Ron Paul loves him some donors!), should he return to Congress (as he ultimately did).

And you are trying to sell me on the idea that Ron Paul had no idea what published in this piece of shit rag, ever?

Best Ron Paul Website

 

I have a new bookmark:

His supporters are definitely batshit insane...batshit insane like a retarded fox.

Iranian Trafalgar

Kinda exciting stuff, full off frantic radio chatter and even a big WHOOP WHOOP battlestations klaxon. These pissants got lucky. Ralph Peters is not impressed...with the USN.

Bill Gates' Last Day

Longish and funnyish---if you're into wacky celeb cameos. Stick around for the plutocrat's favorite politicians, about 6 minutes in, and note the lead off candidate. It's like backing Microsoft Bob:

Eight More Years

Clinton shows his ass again (video here). After hearing him launch a swarm of minutae --- off the cuff, no less --- about when Obama said what about Iraq and how his website has been scrubbed, is there any doubt that Bill has a huge role in directing Hillary's opp research? And, O the indignation and unfairness!

Reminds me of this classic:

Dickhole's Choice '08: Results Are In!

McCain & Obama walk away with it.

It Made Me Think

It's not called that for nothing. Taking the loooong view, Randall Hoven explains why Obama might not be so bad for the GOP:

Over a time horizon greater than the next election cycle, it is better to have a Democrat who acts like a Democrat than a Republican who acts like a Democrat. So until I see real evidence that the Republican candidates would act like Republicans instead of Democrats once in office, I'd just as soon see Barak Obama step off Marine One.

Global Warming Confirmed: Glacier Melts

I am Woman, see me pour. Clinton's tears:

Her voice breaking and tears in her eyes, she said, "You know, this is very personal for me. It's not just political it's not just public. I see what's happening, and we have to reverse it."

Upside? She got this chick's vote:

Another woman in the group, Alison Hamilton of Portsmouth, New Hampshire said she, like most of the people in the group, had been considering Obama. But after seeing Clinton become emotional, she said she was going to vote for Clinton. "That was the clincher," Hamilton said.

Downside? The legendary myth of Hillary's nutsack: Busted.

Video here.

Wht _ Rttn Lttl Cnt

Pal of mine, Doubleplusundead (aka Sinistar & BadCandy), makes a quite rational comment at Wizbang! on a DJDrummond post comparing the current GOP field to Reagan. DJDrummond asserts that they are, NEWSFLASH, not Reagan. Thanks for the insight. Here's another: DJDrummond is not Instapundit. See, I can do this blog shit, too!

Anyway, in the comments, DJDrummond does press the analysis further, digging deep to say that none of the current candidates even come close to George W. Bush much less Reagan.

W?? As in Double-U. Tee. Efffff?

Which is also what Sin said (only much more elegantly, and no, not with any snark nor insults):

DAS IST VERBOTEN! ACHTUNG!

One of the most rational conservative bloggers I know proceeds to have his comments childishly monkeyed with (vowel removal) and ultimately deleted by nancyboy DJDrummond.

And then The Hostages show up. Wheeee! DJDrummond's vowel magnet gets a-zappin'.

He even targets Nice Deb. NICE Deb!

 

DJDrummond, you are a pussy.

For a full rundown, go to Sinistar's blog or mesablue's, who gives DJDrummond the first Grodner Award. Nice.

UPDATE (12-6-08): mesablue rescinds DJDrummond's Grodner Award and states "It's all good" between him and Wizbang! in general --- no word on whether DJDrummond himself has made amends with anyone. Especially Doubleplusundead/Sinistar.

Since I've never read Wizbang! to begin with, I don't have a dog in this fight. I just like hollering OOOOOO - FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! mesablue & Wizbang! Editor Jay Tea say it's done, so that's that. Move along.

Homeland Security Freakout Rant In 5...4...3...

You just made the list, buddy. Bill Maher receives intrusive cavity search frisking at LAX:

Hmmmm, I wonder why. Naaaaaah, Huffing about the General Counsel for Homeland Security  a few months ago is his First Amendment Right. He's as courageous as a hijacker!

UPDATE: Welcome, HotAir. Are you over Iowa yet? I sure am.

Don't Cry For Me

From a month ago --- InEVITAble.

Denied

Here's something that brings a smile:

For 15 years—a full generation—the Clintons have dominated one of this nation's two great parties, trimming and triangulating, dispensing and withholding party favors to reward their friends and punish their enemies, and tainting the party again and again with their scandals.

But tonight?

Seventy percent of Democrats voted against Hillary Clinton.

And not to deny him his moment, Obama's Prelude: a flash from the recent past:

Caucus Open Thread!

{chirp, chirp, chirp....twitter, twitter, twitter}

A Serious Matter

Someone is arguing with me about something. Not sure what it's about, but I'm pretty sure it involves retards or something.

UPDATE: For the months-hence Google search result that arrives here, this post was in response to a troll fight, not a random slap at all handicapable folk. Just one.

MikeHuckabee.com: "Romney Worships Satan."

Why not make my previous post a little snappier? Headline by NY Post. Graphic by Perez Hilton.

Don't believe me? As Rosie would bellow: Google It.

Onward Huckabee Commenters

Mike Huckabee's official campaign website could use a scrub. Religious zealots there are attacking the zealotry of other zealots.

Here's a good Christian. -50 points for a small punctuation error:

And:

And:

And:

Hat-tip NRO Corner.

UPDATE: Welcome, HotAir commenters---Onward!

UPDATE: Some further digging. Here are some choice cuts from this simple Google search:

And a crowd favorite from commenter MoniQue-Tuscon, AZ: Romney worships Satan---SAAAAATAN!

Of course, all bloggers know it's not a real comment thread until MISS ALLCAPS shows up:

...KEEP READING ALL OF MY HOLLERING, CAPTACULAR GOODNESS, WELL THEN YOU MIGHT JUST WORSHIP SATAN. AND ANOTHER THING: IF THIS JERK BLOGGER HADN'T CUT OFF MY QUOTE---NOT BECAUSE IT RUNS WELL PAST THE PRINT SCREEN AREA---YOU WOULD KNOW THAT I SAY "I JUST WANTED TO BACK UP MR. HUCKABEE HERE, I COULD SEE HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE HE KNOWS THE WORD. GOD BLESS YOU MIKE..."

Whew.

UPDATE: Happy New Year, Ace pals. Here's the headline I should've used...