Remember when Obama said the stimulus bill did not contain one earmark or "wasteful (choke) pork (choke) barrel (choke) project"? C'mon, it was just yesterday:
Well, taxpayers' perenially favorite tax dollar rathole, the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) does not disappoint --- they received $80 million from the national emergency job creation bill stimulus:
The NEA was given $80 million of the government's $787 billion economic stimulus bill to spread around to needy artists nationwide, and most of the money is being spent to help preserve jobs in museums, orchestras, theaters and dance troupes that have been hit hard by the recession.
But some of the NEA's grants are spicing up more than the economy. A few of their more risque choices have some taxpayer advocates hot under the collar, including a $50,000 infusion for the Frameline film house, which recently screened Thundercrack, "the world's only underground kinky art porno horror film, complete with four men, three women and a gorilla."
The next morning, [Bing] awakens to the pleasant feeling of being masturbated, though to his horror, the act is being carried out by Medusa [the gorilla], who now has a severe crush on him...[later] Bing has married Medusa, though for some reason, he wore the wedding dress.
Remember: this was an emergency (simian hand)job creation bill.
MOSCOW — The Russian government has issued an order telling postal workers that police and security agents have a right to open mail, causing alarm among rights advocates who fear a return to the Soviet-era tactics of the KGB.
...
But rights advocates said the order is unconstitutional because it does not mention the need for court permission. The document, filling two pages in small print, explains in detail to postal workers that investigators have access to the mail and postal data bases, and can demand a separate work space within post offices.
White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel told The New York Times Obama intends to use the news conference as a "six-month report card," to talk about "how we rescued the economy from the worst recession" and the legislative agenda moving forward, including health care and energy legislation.
A top GOP Congressional aide emails excitedly to say that Rahm Emanuel’s statement that “we’ve rescued the economy” has handed the GOP something akin to Obama’s very own “mission accomplished” moment. He says plans are afoot for Republicans to hammer away at it en masse in the days ahead.
“I don’t think people fought and gave their lives so that some guy can sit in his bedroom and be mean. I don’t think that’s what freedom of speech is,” he continued. “Freedom of speech is really about assembly — for us to collectively have an idea. We want to get our point of view out so we can assemble and I can appoint you to be the spokesman.That’s freedom of speech — to be able to collectively speak for a sector of people. But somehow it’s turned into ‘I can be an asshole whenever I feel like, say whatever I like, be disrespectful to people and not be courteous.’ It’s not good for our society. Not being courteous is not really freedom of speech. …
Really? "Assholes" shouldn't be allowed to speak? Is that why Mellencamp stormed off the stage in a huff during this 2004 Kerry-Edwards fundraiser? Oh yeah, he didn't. Indeed, he himself was kind of a sphincter that night at Radio City Music Hall:
Whoopi Goldberg delivered an X-rated rant full of sexual innuendoes against President Bush last night at a Radio City gala that raised $7.5 million for the newly minted Democratic ticket of John Kerry and John Edwards. Waving a bottle of wine, she fired off a stream of vulgar sexual wordplays on Bush's name in a riff about female genitalia, and boasted that she'd refused to let Team Kerry clear her material.
Other celebs also competed to bash Bush. Singer John Mellencamp sang a specially written song that called the president "just another cheap thug" and ridiculed him as the "Texas bambino." [ed --- the title of Mellencamp's "little diddy" is actually "Texas Bandito".]
But back to Mellencamp's novel idea that freedom of speech really means that only collectively-appointed spokesmen are allowed to do it. Who oh who could Mellencamp have in mind?
One man who has no problem being seen as someone who shoves ideas down people’s throats is John Mellencamp.
“People turned on me,” the singer says. “The police had to show up at my kids’ school and stand guard when they were outside, because the school had gotten threats. I don’t think they’d do that today, but back then it wasn’t long after 9/11, and people were bloodthirsty.”
[Mellencamp] blames the strong nationalism that clenched the country after Sept. 11.
"When people are for the country right or wrong, America right or wrong, it's a lot like Germany. Nationalism is a bad thing. And when you have a mob mentality over a country, over a swastika, over the Führer, over the Iraq war, the outcome is not going to be good."
He said he played a show in Boston two days after Sept. 11 that "frightened" him.
"I write a lot of songs that could be interpreted as big patriotic songs, but in reality they're questioning the direction the country is going," he said. "After every song in Boston, 20,000 people were going, 'USA, USA.' I thought, man. I almost asked them to stop, stop doing that. I don't like it. I don't like hearing that chant."
According to Mellencamp, the US was just like Nazi Germany ... two days after 9/11. And 20,000 bloodthirsty Bostonians rallied Nuremberg-style to "collectively select" him as their appointed-free-speaker. Or Führer. Whatever.
Oh, was that "mean," Mein Coügar?
Anyway, feel free to be mean in the comments and call Mellencamp an asshole, because he'll never read your mean words:
“I don’t have a cell phone. I mean, I can get on a computer and I can text people and e-mail people and I can look up stuff for information but I made the mistake once of reading blogs and I’m not doing that again,” he said. “I believe in freedom of speech but I also have the freedom to say, ‘You’re an idiot. You shouldn’t be writing things like that because you’re an idiot.’” He particularly condemns rude an unaccountable comments in blogs and YouTube videos.
By the way, guess where Mellencamp's screed against free-speaking bloggers was published --- CMT's blog.
I leave you with the now creepily prescient 2006 Government Motors ad that Mellencamp famously whored (again with the meanness, somebody stop this asshole blogger!) --- this is our country, this is OUR truck:
It's possible to dismiss some of Mellencamp's biggest hits -- including "Small Town," "R.O.C.K in the U.S.A." and "Pink Houses" -- as folksy fluff, but last night they all sounded like anthems, as comforting as a warm slice of apple pie.
"Ain't that America, for you and me" the whole crowd sang during Pink Houses, "Ain't that America. The home of the free..." It was spine-tingling, lump in the throat stuff. Mellencamp seemed to sense it too, lingering onstage after that song closed the main set to listen to the patriotic chants.
and
Watching from the wings of the stage as the crowd chanted "U.S.A." and broke into a rendition of "God Bless America," Mr. Mellencamp, a near 30-year touring veteran, said that for the first time in decades, he grew a bit jittery before he went on.
Then he started playing, following the same set list he has used throughout the tour, but one that seems oddly relevant now. He opened with the Rolling Stones tune "Gimme Shelter," and followed that with "Peaceful World," a new song he wrote about racism that was released just weeks ago. Mr. Mellencamp said that, after Tuesday's attacks, the song "took on a whole new meaning."
But it was the familiarity of his Americana classics that seemed to give the audience what they had come for, whether comfort, community or just to escape for a few hours from thoughts of bad news. Songs like "The Authority Song," "R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.," and "Jack and Diane" brought a loud response from the audience, which sang along and waved American flags. Mr. Mellencamp said he decided to spare them political commentary, addressing the terrorist attacks only briefly in the middle of the show when he called for goodwill.
"I'm not going to sit there and patronize them," he said. The show ended with "Pink Houses," a pointed commentary on the psyche of blue-collar America. Even when that song topped the radio charts more than 10 years ago, "it never got the response it did" on Thursday, he said. "People were crying."
Buncha blubbering jingoistic Nazis --- right, John? You angry little homunculus.
UPDATE: Mellencamp may very well get his "mean blogger silence" dream codified into federal law. Hate to inform all of you asshole meanies in the comments, but we're all staring at 2 years in the stony lonesome:
Here is the language in the bill [HR 1966]:
a) Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication, with the intent to coerce, intimidate, harass, or cause substantial emotional distress to a person, using electronic means to support severe, repeated, and hostile behavior, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.
(b) As used in this section-
(1) the term ‘communication’ means the electronic transmission, between or among points specified by the user, of information of the user’s choosing, without change in the form or content of the information as sent and received;
(2) the term ‘electronic means’ means any equipment dependent on electrical power to access an information service, including email, instant messaging, blogs, websites, telephones, and text messages.’.
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